Captain Jack: 1, Big Medicine: 0

If you're anything like me, then you know there's no better feeling than stickin' it to The Man, am I right, mateys?  Today for instance Mad Bess and your Captain went to the doctor; the woman behind the counter said, "That'll be a $20 copay for Bess, and another $20 for you, Captain Jack."  So I says, says I, "I believe there will be no charge for me, seeing as how it's my annual pirate physical, which my pirate insurance policy clearly states I am entitled to without one doubloon of cost.  What say you now, wench?"  Suffice to say, your Captain had his physical and left the office with his doubloons still secure in his pocket (and the scurvy dog of a doctor even complimented him on his healthy blood pressure as well!)  You have to get up pretty early in the afternoon to pull the wool over Captain Jack's good eye, me hearties!